September 21st, 2006

ATE TINE :)

Theoretical Framework
There are numbers of definitions of stress as well as number of events that can lead one to experience stress. People say they are stressed when they take experimentation, when having to deal with frustrating work situations, or from the point of view of a student nurse being exposed to the medical ward where one would encounter varied medical diseases which require varied intervention is a source of stress in itself already. For a novice, a practicing student nurse, stressful situations can be viewed as harmful, as threatening, or for some even challenging.
            With so many factors that can contribute to stress, it can be difficult to define the concept of “stress”. Defining stress is indeed stressing! However, according to Hans Selye, stress is the wear and tear that life causes on the body. It occurs when the person has difficulty dealing with life situations, problems and goals. Each person handles stress differently; one person can thrive in a situation which can create great distress for another (Videbeck, 2004).
Accordingly, Selye came up with his concept of General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS) or also known as the “Stress Syndrome”. He furthered that there are 3 stages concerning an organism’s response to stress namely the first stage known as Alarm Reaction, wherein the body prepares itself for “fight or flight”. The second stage is known as “Adaptation Stage” wherein an individual’s resistance is built. Finally, the third stage is known as the “Exhaustion Stage” wherein the duration of the stress is sufficiently long such to cause the body’s energy reserves to breakdown as a result of “wear and tear”. Furthermore, it is noted that many of the diseases caused by stress occurs in the resistance stage and it is referred to as the “Disease of Adaptation”. This disease of adaptation includes headache, insomnia, high blood pressure and further more.
Taking into context our status as Student Nurses, duty stress can be defined generally as the harmful physical and emotional responses that occurs when the requirements of the duty do not match the capabilities, resources, or needs of the individual.
Another nursing theory on stress is the Lazarus Theory of Stress and Coping. Stress is described as phenomenological; that is, the person is understood to constitute and be constituted by meanings; wherein, stress is the disruption of meanings and coping is what the person does about the distraction. (Tomey and Alligood, 2002). It is evident that in every concept, a stressor is present. Stressors are tension-producing stimuli occurring within the boundaries of the client system. They may be; 1. Interpersonal forces occurring within the individual, such as conditioned responses. 2. Intrapersonal forces occurring between one or more individuals, such as role expectations. 3. Extra personal forces occurring outside the individual, such as financial circumstances (A.M. Tomey and M.R. Alligood, 2002).
In the Philippines, related study on stress conducted by Benjamin Salvosa IV and Pinky de Leon defined stress as an event when there is an individual who attempts to meet the demands from the environment yet is unable to. It has also been defined as discrepancy between the demands on the person – external and internal – and the person potential responses to those demands. The demands from the environment on the person are also known as stressors – stimulus that causes stress (Salvosa and de Leon).
In the City of Baguio, a study made by a student of Baguio Colleges Foundation, emphasized that stress occurs when the demands, may it be external or internal, causes a person’s potential response to be disrupted (Villasi, 2004).
Stress is defined as “an adaptive response, moderated by individual differences, that is a consequence of any action, situation, or event, that places special demands on a person” (Ivancevich and Matteson, 1996). Perhaps the most important word in the definition is “special” since significant or unusual situations rather than day-to-day minor adjustments of life, usually produce stress (DeFrank and Ivancevich, 1999). It is important to note that there is substantial disagreement over the definition of stress. Scholars often have different definitions and abide by those explanations most suitable to the pursuit of their particular interests.
Stressors are external events or conditions that affect the organism (Breznitz and Goldberger,1993) and are considered an antecedent conditions to the demand or opportunity that will require an adaptive response on the part of a worker (Boehr, Walsh, and Tabor, 1976). A variety of dissimilar situations – emotional arousal, effort, fatigue, pain, fear, concentration, humiliation, and even great and unexpected success – are capable of producing stress; hence, no single factor can, in itself, be pinpointed as the cause of the reaction as such (Selye, 1993). Job stressors are defined as job demands, constraints (or opportunities), and job-related events or situations that may affect an individual’s role fulfillment (Parasuraman and Alutto, 1984) and evemtually their level of performance. Level of performance is motivational in nature – and some theorist claim that stress is a primary motivating factor. Some may perform well under stress though some may not!
The reaction to a stressful situation is called an outcome, and a negative outcome is called a strain. Typically, strains have been aggregated into three categories (Jex and Boehr, 1991; Lapidus, Roberts, and Chonko, 1997) – psychological and emotional strains including depression, burnout, frustration and anxiety; physical strains including headaches, stomach aches, and cardiovascular disease; and behavioral strains including absenteeism, turnover, smoking, drinking, etc. It is generally believed that stress impairs performance, but evidence provided by field studies has been both sparse and mixed (Parasuraman and Alutto, 1984). The experience of stress does not invariably lead to deterioration. It may facilitate growth by tempering arrogance and by enhancing our tenderness toward ourselves and others (Haan, 1993).

One reason to stress is the potential relationship between stress and Level of Performance. For this verification, it is necessary to measure the impact of stress on level of performance. Some stress impacts occur instantly and are thus easily observed. Others occur later, which can even affect performance in subsequent projects. Moreover, level of performance can, of course, be determined by factors other than stress.

The theories of how stress influences performance are not yet very predictive. Wickens et al. note that the amount of stress is difficult to predict for a given situation, as differences can arise due to how the task is performed (allowing more or less time to appraise the situation), how the task is appraised (e.g., threatening versus challenging) due to level of expertise, and whether one perceives that they are in control of the situation. The authors do, however, go on to provide some theoretical statements that can be used to implement theories of stress as overlays.

 

CHAPTER II
REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
STRESS

Stress is a state of dynamic tension created when you respond to perceived demands and pressure build up while you to mobilize resources against them. It is a state of physical and emotional arousal caused by demands, pressure, and the wear and care of life (Saguipped, 1999).

Stress is a response to a stressor, or environmental demand that disrupts smooth functioning in a person’s life, resulting in challenge, harm or loss. It is something that makes you worry, anything that causes “change in your daily routine”, anything that causes change in your body health. There are several types of stress-ones that are so commonplace that you might not even realize that they are stressful. Emotional stress when arguments, disagreements and conflicts cause changes in your personal life. Environmental factors- very hot or very cold climates can be stressful. Very high altitude may me a stress. Toxins or poisons are a stress. Each of these factors threatens to cause changes in your body’s internal environment. Pushing your body too hard; the body’s fight to stay healthy in the face of the increased energy that you are expending is major stress.

When we talk about stress, the first thing that comes to mind is its negative implications. This should not be the case. According to Hans Selye, stress is the “wear and tear” our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually environment; it has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings. As a positive influence, stress can help compel us to action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective. As a negative influence, it can result in feelings of distrust, refection, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, insomnia, hypertension, heart disease and stroke. As we have seen, positive stress adds anticipation and excitement to life, and we all thrive under a certain amount of stress. Deadlines, competitions, confrontations, and even our frustrations and sorrows add depths and enrichment to our lives. Our goal is not to eliminate stress but to learn how to manage it and how to use it to help us. Insufficient stress acts as a depressant and may leave us feeling bored or dejected; on the other hand, excessive stress may leave us feeling “tied up in knots” (Videbeck, 2004).

So what we need to do is to find the optimal level of stress which will individually motivate but not overwhelm each of us.

There is no single level of stress that is optimal for all people. We are individual creatures with unique requirements. As such, what is distressing to one may be a joy to another. And even when we agree that a particular event is distressing, we are likely to differ in our physiological and psychological responses to it.

It has been found that most illness is related to unrelieved stress. If you are experiencing stress symptoms, you have gone beyond your optimal stress level, you need to reduce the stress in your life and/or improve your ability to manage it.

            The same holds true with the way a person responds to stress. Stress for one person may just be another exciting challenge to the other person. This confirmed by ATWATER (1993), when he said that these are times when stress depends upon the relationships of a particular person and a given demand.

Due to such difference, it has become necessary to differentiate the two kinds of stress that a person refers to. Negative stress or distress refers to the harmful effects such as excessive or unpleasant demands that drain our energy and make us more vulnerable to illness. Eustress or positive stress refers to the stimulating beneficial effects of stress.

There are three different kinds of stress, they are as follows;

            ACUTE STRESS according to Miller and Smith, it is the most common from the stress. It comes from demands and pressures of the recent past and anticipated demands and pressures of the near future. Acute Stress is thrilling and exciting in small doses, but too much is exhausting. A fast run down a challenging ski slope, for example, is exhilarating early in the day. That same ski run late in the day is taxing and wearing. Skiing beyond your limits leads to falls and to broken bones. By the same token, overdoing on short-term stress can lead to psychological distress, tension headaches, upset stomach, and other symptoms.

            Because it is short term, acute stress doesn’t have enough time to do the extensive damage associated with long-term stress. The most common symptoms are:

-         emotional distress—some combination of anger or irritability, anxiety, and depression, the three stress emotions:

-         muscular problems including tension headache, back pain, jaw pain, and the muscular tensions that lead to pulled muscles and tendon and ligament problems;

-         stomach, gut and bowel problems such as heartburn, acid stomach, flatulence, diarrhea, constipation, and irritable bowel syndrome;

-         Transient over arousal leads to elevation in blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dizziness, migraine headaches, cold hands or feet, shortness of breathe, and chest pain.

Acute stress can crop up in anyone’s life, and it is highly treatable and manageable.

 

EPISODIC ACUTE STRESS is those, however, who suffer frequently, whose lives are so disordered that they are studies in chaos and crisis. They’re always in a rush, but always late. If something goes wrong, it does. They take on too much, have too many irons in the fire, and can’t organize the slew of self inflicted demands and pressures clamoring for their attention. They seem perpetually in the clutches of acute stress.

It is common for people with acute stress reactions to be over aroused, short-tempered, irritable, anxious, and tense. Often, they describe themselves as having “a lot of nervous energy.” Always in a hurry, they tend to be abrupt, and sometimes their irritability comes across as hostility. Interpersonal relationships deteriorate rapidly when others respond with real hostility. The work becomes a very stressful place for them.

Another form of episodic acute stress comes from ceaseless worry. “Worry warts” see disaster around every corner and pessimistically forecast catastrophe in every situation. The world is dangerous, unrewarding, punitive place where something awful is always about to happen. These “awfulizers” also tend to be over aroused and tense, but are more anxious and depressed than angry and hostile.

The symptoms of episodic acute stress are the symptoms of extended over arousal: persistent tension headaches, migraines, hypertension, chest pain, and heart disease. Treating episodic acute stress requires intervention on a number of levels, generally requiring professional help, which may take many months.

Often, lifestyle and personality issues are so ingrained and habitual with these individuals that they see nothing wrong with the way they conduct their lives. They blame their woes on other people and external events. Frequently, they see their lifestyle, their patterns of interacting with others, and their ways of perceiving the world as part and parcel of who and what they are.

Sufferers can be fiercely resistant to change. Only the promise of relief from pain and discomfort of their symptoms can keep them in treatment and on track in their recovery program.

CHRONIC STRESS this is the grinding stress that wears people away day after day, year after year. Chronic stress destroys bodies, minds and lives. It wreaks havoc through long-term attrition. It’s the stress of poverty, of dysfunctional families, of being trapped in an unhappy marriage or in a despised job or career. It’s the stress that the never-ending “troubles.”

Chronic stress comes when a person never sees a way out of a miserable situation. It’s the stress of unrelenting demands and pressures for seemingly interminable periods of time. With no hope, the individual gives up searching for solutions.

Some chronic stresses stem traumatic, early childhood experiences that become internalized and remain forever painful and present. Some experiences profoundly affect personality. A view of the world, or a belief system, is created that causes unending stress for the individual (e.g., the world is threatening place, people will find out you are a pretender, you must be perfect at all times). When personality or deep-seated convictions and beliefs must be reformulated, recovery requires active self-examination, often with professional help.

The worst aspect of chronic stress is that people get used to it. They forget it’s there. People are immediately aware of acute stress because it is new; they ignore chronic stress because it is old, familiar, and sometimes, almost comfortable.

Chronic stress kills through suicide, violence, heart attack, stroke, and, perhaps, even cancer. People wear down to a final, fatal breakdown. Because physical and mental resources are depleted through long-term attrition, the symptoms of chronic stress are difficult to treat and may require extended medical as well as behavioral treatment and stress management (www.ilo.org/public/english/protection/condtrav/pdf/we-cge-96.pdf.).

The authors made the following theoretical assumptions about the evolution of gender-specific stress response patterns: Traditionally and throughout evolution, males have been selected that mount a successful behavioral response to a threat, which maximizes the survival of self by either defeating the enemy or overcoming the threat. The fight and flight response should result in the selection of males that maximizes biological mechanisms to assure superior fight or flight responses, such as cardiovascular performance, motor planning, and necessary neuroendocrine responses, such as activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis—systems essential to self-preservation. Different considerations apply to females: Compared to males, females make a greater investment initially in pregnancy and nursing, and typically play the primary role in bringing offspring to maturity. Therefore, behavioral responses to threats that were successfully passed on would have been those that protected offspring as well as self. This maternal investment should result in selection of female stress responses. In females, there is a greater activation of vagal mechanisms (associated with parasympathetic nervous system "relax and restore" responses and increased gastrointestinal activation), and greater release of oxytocin (a calming hormone amplified by estrogen) and endorphins within the brain will inhibit the underlying fight and flight response, and promotes study habits and diligence. (http://www.aboutibs.org/Publications/stress.html)

Taylor has coined the phrase "tend-and-befriend" to describe a very different pattern that her research group has found in women who are stressed. It seems that most of the earlier research on the fight-or-flight response was done using males. Taylor has found that females - even female animals from different species - respond differently to stress than males. Females under stress nurture themselves and their young ('tending') and form alliances with others ('befriending'). The fight-or-flight response seems to be present in women under acute stress. The tend-and-befriend response then seems to kick-in, and the women respond differently then men. Female animals may need to protect their young in a stressful situation. Fleeing too soon would be a problem. Taylor's research suggests that hormones may play a role in these differences. Males under stress produce androgens such as testosterone in addition to stress hormones such as cortisol. (http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/womensmentalhealth/a/tendbefriend.htm)

STRESSORS

            Some view stress as environmental pressure such as task overload, maintaining student discipline, and role conflict on the individual. Others define stress in terms of physiological reactions to environmental stimuli (Folkman 1994). The interactionalist who views the beginning of stress pointed out that both the environmental stimulus and the reacting individual are vital elements and the relationships between the two is crucial (Grasha 1997). The reaction depends on how the person interprets or appraises the significance of a harmful, threatening of challenging events.

            On the other hand, Gimero defined stress as the apprehension cued off by threat to some uncues and needs that an individual holds essential to his existence as personality. Altman and Jeffe further mentioned that ach individual has several important needs to which have to be met, example survival, competence, self actualization, safety, esteem and intimacy. To meet these needs, individuals must cope with various life cycle context and stressors. Stress is the human’s ability or difficulty to cope with the demands in life. What follows are some of the common environmental demands that leads to psychological stress and tension, and thus are potential sources of counter productive response and adaptation crisis.

            Stress is not simply out there in environment, though it may originate there. Stress depends not only on the external conditions, but also on the vulnerability of individual and the adequacy of is system of defense. Many environmental situations are not stressful for everyone, the reaction depends on the kind of person he is.

            The experience of stress represents a psychological state. It can result from exposure, or threat of exposure, both to the more tangible workplace hazards and to the psychosocial hazards of work. The experience of stress is one important outcome of exposure to the hazards of work and to hazardous situations. Those hazards of work which are associated with the experience of stress are often termed stressors.

            According to the study of Salvosa lll and de Leon stress occurs when there is an individual who attempts to meet the demands from the environment yet it unable to (Manstead and Hewetone 1996). It has also been defined as a discrepancy between the demands on the person-external and internal and the person’s potential responses to those demands (Hendricks 1998). The demands from the environment on the person are also known as stressors-stimulus that causes stress (Webster 1983).

            There are basically two types of stressors which have been extensively researched: ambient and life events. Ambient stressors are termed as the day-to-day hassles of life in a community. It is an accumulation of stressors from the household, social and leisure pursuits, and in the work environment. Life events are more discrete stressors such as the loss of a job, the death of a close associate and the break up of an intimate relationship (Falloon 1993). Other samples of life events having serious illnesses, residence changes, fulfillment or non fulfillment of goals and change in roles (Murphy and Kupshik 1992).

STRESS LEVEL

            The experience of exposure to a stressor leads to a variety of behavioral changes depending on the severity of the stress experienced, the individual’s characteristics, and the environmental possibilities.

            MILD STRESS when the stress experienced is tolerable and doesn’t affect your performance in the area as much.

            MODERATE STRESS when the stress experienced is on the verge of being intolerable and begins to affect your performance in the area.

            SEVERE STRESS when the stress experienced is of no benefit to you feel impending panic and you cannot handle or tolerate it anymore (www.nso.com/newsletters/advisor/200/nurse/rarara.phf).

Taking into context our stress as student nurses, duty stress can be defined generally as the harmful physical and emotional responses that occurs when the requirements of the duty do not match the capabilities, resources or needs.

            According to Selye on his concept of General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS) or also known as the “Stress Syndrome”. He furthered that there are three stages concerning the organisms response to stress namely; alarm reaction, wherein the body prepares itself for fight or flight. The second stage is known as Adaptation Stage. In this stage, the individual’s resistance is built, and finally, the third stage is known as Exhaustion Stage, the duration of the stress is sufficiently long such that the body’s energy reserves breakdown as a result of “wear and tear”. Furthermore it is noted that many of the disease caused by stress occurs in the resistance stage and it is referred to as “Disease of Adaptation”. This disease of adaptation includes headache, insomnia, and high blood pressure among others.

            Other nursing theory on stress is that of Lazarus “Theory of Stress and Coping”. Stress is described as phenomenological; that is the person is understood to constitute and be constituted by meanings; wherein stress is what the person does about the disruption (A.M. Tomey and M.R. Alligood, 2002). It is evident that in every concept, a stressor is present. Stressors are tension-producing stimuli occurring within the boundaries of the client system. They may be, INTERPERSONAL forces occurring within the individual, such as conditioned responses. Interpersonal forces occurring between one or more individuals, such as role expectations. Extrapersonal forces occurring outside the individual, such as financial circumstances.

            According to the American Academy of family, stress is simply a sign of times. Everywhere people are trying to reduce the effects of excessive tensions of the daily life. They emphasized that no one really knows whether people now a days experience more stress than their ancestors did, but it seems its true. Hobfol stated that the word stress was loosely borrowed from physics. Humans, as they say are in some ways similar to physical objects such as metals which resist moderate outside forces but lose their resiliency under great pressure but unlike metals, human beings can think and reason and they experience a myriad of social and environmental circumstances that make defining stress more complex in psychology than in physics. Thus in psychological terms, stress is the response of individuals and stressors, the circumstances and events that threaten them and tax their coping abilities (Santrock 2001).

            Forshaw stated that stress is typically been used to refer both to the adjustive demands placed on an organism and to such responses to such demands. In order to avoid confusions, he cited that adjustive demands as stressors, to the effects they create within an organization as stress, and to deal with, it is coping strategies (Passer and Smith 2001).

            Carson proposed that adjustive demands stress from source that fall into three basic categories. They are as follows:

  1. Frustrations – it is when a person’s striving are thwarted either by obstacles that progress toward a desired goal, frustrations occur. A wide range of obstacles, both external and internal can lead to frustration. Prejudice and discrimination, unfulfillment in a job and the death of a loved one are common frustrations stemming from the environment, physical handicaps, limited ability to perform certain tasks, loneliness, guilt and inadequate self control are so8urces of frustrations based on persons limitations.
  2. Conflicts – This occurs when one most decide between two or more incompatible stimuli. These conflicts are often classified into: approach-avoidance approach/conflicts are those involve choosing between two or more desirable goals and though the experience may cause more eustress that distress, the stress is still real and the choices are difficult; double-avoidance conflicts are those in which the choices are between undesirable alternatives. It is neither choice will bring satisfaction sot the task is to decide which cause of action will be less stressful
  3. Pressures – It is the stressor where the person is pressed to achieve goals or to behave in particular ways.

 

      Stress when applied to nursing, contemporary theories of stress suggest that a situation which is typically experienced as stressful is perceived to involve (1) work demands which are threatening or which are not well matched to the knowledge, skills and ability to cope of the student nurses involved, or (2) work which does not fulfill their needs, especially where those nurses (3) have little control over work and (4) receive little support at work or outside of work.

Work-Related Stress in Nursing

1. Work in which the demands imposed are threatening and not well matched to the knowledge, skills and ability to cope of the student nurses involved.

2. Work which does not meet the needs of student nurses involved.

3. Situations in which student nurses have little control over work.

4. Situations in which student nurses receive little support at or outside on work.

 

 
Posted by fallen_angel at 10:41 PM | exhale...

May 8th, 2006

P L E A S E P A S S T H E N A P K I N

published: April 30 2006 

When leaving the sterile field of the OR (operating room) you are to change your OR shoes to “other” shoes with laces, remove your mask and turban and put on a lab gown over your scrub suit. We do all this to maintain sterility and avoid the harboring of any harmful microorganisms that seek to invade, command and conquer! Luckily for us the hospital protocol didn’t require us to take of our whole OR uniform, like others do, and change into our white hospital uniform. It being an oven down there in la union, especially since it is summer, we would have been spurting a new source of water if that was the case.

 

My partner, the circulating nurse, and I, the scrub nurse, were headed of to the surgery ward to endorse our recently operated on patient. We just assisted a cholecystectomy, removal of the gall bladder, and with chart and box of medicines in hand we were of to finish our task. Changed for leaving the area, we walked out through the glass doors and onto the pavement of the hospital’s pathway. Firstly we turned left having walked a few meters and coming face to face with the emergency room up ahead we realize that we were headed in the wrong direction. Back to where we started. This time we turned right. From what I remember the surgery ward is fused with the OB-Gyne ward here… I paused midway with realization that something was definitely wrong. I look about. Nothing. I looked down with the background music supporting the suspense and see shoes with no laces. AHHHHH!!! SHOES! Immediately we dash through the glass doors and back into the OR.

 

The momentum was so strong and so quick. We were properly prepped in school about maintaining sterility with the principles of surgical asepsis that doing what we did is a BIG no, no. The speed of how all that occurred, the simple realization of not having changed out of our OR shoes, is just as quick as how life passes you. It is a complete and utter blur. Today is April 30 and I turn twenty years old. Balloons fly, horns blow, people cheer and confetti everywhere. I kiss au revoir, arrivederci, aufwedersehen, sayonara and farewell to my teenage years. If I was one of those people who have a hard time to let go of those great teen years I would be twenteen years old instead of twenty. I’d rather leave denial alone and save it for a rainy day. It’s time to face the music. Time to stand up, face the world and shake hands with the naked truth. Gets up onto chair and shouts, World! Today I’ve turned twenty years old!!! Even though I, literally if you think about it, was a teen just yesterday I feel that my teen years is a distant memory. Like when I see teenagers making “mistakes” I look and see how crazy they are for doing so, only to realize after a while that I made that same mistake not too long ago. With a another world out there, more responsibilities, a different outlook on life and whole new views on living in general my teen self has retired. Growing older opens a door to a new adventure. Anchors away mates! Beginning a new adventure requires you to be prepared. You need all the bare necessities or else you ship may just spring a leak.  

 

Being prepared. I remember the day I got my period for the first time (known in the medical field as “menarche.&rdquo I saw the drops of blood, got out of my room and walked to my mom’s. She was in her comfort room at that moment as I was rummaging through her drawers. ‘What are you looking for?’ She asked me. I replied to her like nothing happened still searching about, ‘I’m looking for a napkin. I have my period.’ Her face lit, hugged me and she actually shrieked with total excitement that her baby got older. She then gave me a napkin for now, “back up” napkins and little bag to put them in. Well, well, well. If only at every stage of our life the transition would run smoothly like that. Before I got my period my mom had conversations about it with me in preparation. When that fateful day arrived, when for the first time I blood stained my underwear, I just got up and looked through drawers. If only now as I am entering adulthood I could just enter my mom’s comfort room and get a napkin (metaphorically speaking of course.) If only transition between life’s stages was that easy. Though we all need to remember that life isn’t served on a silver platter. If everything was easy, where would be the fun in that? If knowledge was just slid into our brains like one would insert a CD in drive E, where would we get the joy of receiving a pat on the back for a job well done? Directing this towards the transition into adulthood, if it were real easy to become one how could you say that you have matured? You need to make mistakes, struggle through hardships and even heartache and that whole rut. Then you have to step up and get over it all and, guess what, mature. We could only say we have matured when we do the “teenage thing”, move forward and accept the next stage of life and all what comes with it. As most people would say, “Age gracefully” and with that said we must follow it with our hearts and minds.

 

Do not bother with the fact that everything goes by real fast. We might as well just do what we can with the time that is given to us and do our best with it. By doing our best we should disregard the idea that our best is never good enough, for we then completely blank out the meaning of the word best. If you think you did your best, then you had the best teenage years ever because they were yours and no one else’s. You have then succeeded, as have I, and so it is time. Now we could move together to the next step…

 

My name is Jennifer Apil Winter. I had the best teenage years I could ever have had. I have just turned twenty years old and I am almost an adult.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by fallen_angel at 07:21 PM | 1 lovers of life

March 10th, 2006

H A V E W E F O R G O T T E N W H O W E A R E ?

Have you ever looked into the mirror and asked yourself who was staring back at you? I remember back when I was around 7 or 8 years old I would wonder whether I am who I am. Are my actions that of my own? This body that I possess, am I an outside controller manipulating this human form? That child would sit down staring into blank space wondering what made me, me. Now as I am older that question still never left me. Everyone, most likely, would have asked themselves that very same question. Man fishes this thought from a common stream along with our ever popular “what is the meaning of life?”

 

This question has been relentlessly asked by many. Hosts use this question for beauty pageants and I always feel sorry for the contestant who lands with that question. First and foremost it is a very complex and profound question and they can’t help but give unsatisfactory answers. I personally believe that one who be better of with saying, “I honestly don’t know” and add onto it with some witty philosophical idea or something directed towards religion in particular.

 

How can we forget who we are when in the first place we don’t know who we are? Now simplifying the concept on “who we are”, let’s just see it as how we decide to carry ourselves. Let’s see “who we are” as the way we handle situations, how we outlook others and ourselves and how we behave in general.

 

Let’s have look at a few day-to-day situations and tweeze out the factors leading towards this.

 

  • “Just being able to be in your presence uplifts me from the deep well of depression and sorrow. You bring me hope and remind me that there is still some good left in this world. I could never be able to properly express how happy you make me feel.”

 

“Whenever you enter the room you light up the darkness that is my soul. You raise to the heavens my lonesome heart with your radiance. You are the most beautiful I have ever seen.”

 

The only time these sort of things are seen to be corny is when it is viewed at by someone else. Between the two of you it may be sweet and heartwarming, but it'd be "icky" (if I may use that pre-teen term) to others. You will only feel it to be corny when you think of what others may think.

 

  • I have a friend who doesn't want us to meet the guy the she is dating because she says, "he is not guwapo." I could bet my last peso that she really doesn't think that. She is just worried on what we would think and to be safe she says he is not to taste.

 

 

  • Students gathering together before an exam asking each other if the other reviewed. Some say they didn't really review or didn't review at all. When their exam papers return and they come out with below average scores, they could just say, "Hindi naman ako nagreview." They just safely don't raise the bar too high just incase they aren't capable of jumping it.

 

  • I know that when picking out what to wear I ask someone's opinion (usually that would be my mother.) I usually before hand prefer already one of the two clothing items I have picked out but I still seek out an outsider's point of view. Then when the person I ask picks the other outfit I get flung into an even bigger rut with utter confusion. What to wear???!!??

 

Now why should we always worry about what others think? There is a time and place for everything and yes others opinions are of importance, but not always. We fear too much on the viewpoint of others that we tend to shove aside what we, ourselves, think.

 

We are so highly engrossed by collective forms of behavior that we become senile towards individuality. Sometimes we forget ourselves and live by other's standards. We, as individuals, are like different cultures swimming in sea of the world. We are usually strongly xenocentric, looking down at oneself, for our own good. Why do we fear to stand out? Is it in our nature to be so? Man is a social being. He needs acceptance to feel whole. Man needs to accomplish the need of esteem (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs), esteem for self and from others, which is fine but usually is overpowered by others.

 

Standards are illusions created by the mind. They change according to variables set by society. The model on the cover of this month’s magazine is how we should look like, today’s fashion trend is how we should dress or all in all don’t stray from the thinking of the masses. Always go with the herd and be like sheep. Baaaah!

 

I have started earlier on simple examples of daring to be deviant. Let’s have a look at the bigger picture. If we all (and I mean ALL) decide to go with society, where will we go? Do you think that man will make any progress? We are where we are today due to people who dared to be different. Men and women who are seen as radicals in their time are now remembered as great thinkers who helped us “progress.” In a classroom setting the top notchers are deviant. They worked their neurons to maximum levels and had to live with others ridicule and taunting. As an end result they got ahead and progressed, “Hey! Look who is laughing now?!” (In a sense I have just given you a simple form of Marxism.)

 

So lay back and relax. God made us who we are for a divine purpose and one day we all will come to see it. He didn’t make us to spend hours worrying about the fact that we don’t know what makes us, us. In due time we’ll know and so let’s take it step-by-step. Go simple. Decide how you want to get things done, how you choose to run your life and set your own standards. Live by those and not someone else’s. Make yourself some concrete principles and stick with them! Do your part and leave some room to let God do his magic. Then you will find the light switch in the dark room and illuminate who you are.

Currently listening to: Next Contestant by Nickelback
Currently reading: My notes...
Posted by fallen_angel at 11:44 PM | exhale...

February 14th, 2006

C O N C E P T O F L O V E

My philosophy of man instructor, back in my sophomore year of college, asked us what the meaning of love is. My classmates gave answers such as “it is what you feel towards family and friends”, “It is something shared between two people”, “it is an emotion”, “it is a strong feeling” and others just smiled and shared no comment at all. He then asked me,

“Ms. Winter, what is love?” I stood up and instead of fumbling through a dictionary for the answer as I almost always did I gave an honest answer.

“Sir, love is bliss.” He looked at me stunned. Bliss? Ultimate happiness?

“Why do you say that?”

“It is bliss because you feel like nothing could ever go wrong.” Quite farfetched isn’t it? What was the driving force behind my answer? We all have various perceptions towards the concept of love. We all may share a common idea that it is a positive word, but otherwise that is the only similarity we could honestly pick out.

 

So firstly like the meaning of life and the origin of man, we don’t really know what love is. When I read “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom I pondered on the words of Morrie, when Mitch asked on which side in the wrestling match that is life would win, “Love wins. Love always wins.” I seriously pondered on those words with full surge neuron power. All I could come up with is that whether rational or irrational the way love always perseveres. Why does it persevere? What feeds the power love possesses? I turned to the movie industry for answers. I took a stroll through my little pirate raided Hollywood and picked out two striking scenes from two well known blockbusters namely “Matrix revolutions” and “Troy.”

 

Matrix revolutions

 

Neo, the one, and the power plant system manager for recycling operations (the program) meet at the in between place. The place described by the program as to be found “between your world and ours.” As Neo was trying to understand what was happening their conversation lead to speaking about love.


 Neo: I just never heard
Program: Heard a program speak about love.
Neo: It is a human emotion.
Program: No it is a word. What matters is the connection the word implies. I see that you are in love. Can you tell me what you would give to hold onto that connection?
Neo: Anything.

 

Troy

 

Paris betrayed father and country by taking Helen back with him to Troy. Hector, his brother is outraged by this foolish act and readily turns back the ship to bring Helen back. Paris would not allow it and said that if Helen were to go back he will go with her and stand fighting.


 Hector: Have you ever killed a man?
Paris: No.
Hector: Have you ever seen a man die in combat?
Paris: No.
Hector: I killed men and I’ve heard them dieing and I’ve watched them dieing and there is nothing glorious about it. Nothing poetic. You say you want to die for love, but you know nothing about dieing and you know nothing about love.
Paris: All the same I go with her.

 

That just comes to show that love brings about betrayal, up rises conflict and makes you stubborn. All pessimistic in nature linked to a should be positive inside and out word.


 People claim that in pre-marital relationships, boyfriend and girlfriend state, you could pocket a part of love for you both share it. Boyfriends beat up their girlfriends and despite the violence he, fists bunched up and veins popping with rage, loves her and she, bleeding from the mouth and eyes too swollen to see with, still loves him. They say that when you are married you get to witness what love truly is. Husbands cheat on their wives and wives on their husbands, even when caught red handed, but at the end of the day they still love each other. Could you explain that to me? Is it fear? If that’s so love has been given such a negative connotation that we should avoid this “love” completely. If that’s the case love is a bad influence and should be sent for rehabilitation. Hopefully that isn’t the case and that love I just mentioned is a pseudo love and should be checked for proper identification in the future.

 

Are you a searcher? One of those who believe in the long wait and the refusal with the idea of dating. From a comical point of view, as Josie from the movie “Never been kissed” said, “I don’t have to kiss a whole bunch of losers to find the right one.”


 Like in everything man tries to search for greater glory, better things, in full attempt to transcend. So all I could say is this, about a matter that needs no introduction but one which so dearly is in search for it’s long lost body, it is a mystery left unsolved and a treasure that can not be found.

 

Are you waiting for your knight in shining armor or are you in search for a maiden locked up in a tower? Do you long for the day that you will be swept of your feet or you would sweep someone of there’s? When that day you dream of has arrived are you sure that, that is truly the day you have been longing for? Life is full of what ifs and maybes. Like in an exam when the question asked is no where in the study materials provided you try and come up with the most intellectual answer possible in hope that it would be close enough to the right one. We just cross our fingers and take the plunge hoping that we are diving into the right pool.

 

We could believe in love and have faith in it. Like how we feel towards God. We have faith in Him despite science’s grievous attempt to contradict His existence. We know He exists for we relentlessly walk blindly in the dark. Love is not fully understood but we may have our own perception of it. It is what you feel towards family and friends, it shared between two people, it is an emotion, it is a strong feeling, it is bliss. Whatever may believe it to be we all innately know what it feels like. That is the beauty of it all. It is so complex, yet it is so simple.

 

So sit back and relax. Let us not cause ourselves more pain and agony by tiring our already tired minds. Let us calmly reflect on why celebrate February 14 as a day for love to flourish. Thank the man who set an example for us. The man who displayed to us love in one of its purest forms. During the times when Christianity was banned he refused to denounce the faith and continued to join men and women in holy matrimony. Claudius II, emperor at that time and the one who banned Christianity, ordered him to be clubbed, stoned and then beheaded. As he waited for his end in jail he fell in love with a blind woman by the name of Julia who was said to be miracously cured by him. Stories say that in his last letter that he closed it with  “From your Valentine.” February 14, 270 A.D. was the execution date of, now known to us as, St. Valentine the first religious personage to oversee the celebration of marriage between a pagan man and a Christian woman.

So let us be thankful for the love we hope to possess and let us have some faith in what we chose to believe in.

 

*** this article was published under the title "FAITH AND LOVE" with mild alterations in this week's midland courier

 

Currently listening to: Never saw blue like that before
Posted by fallen_angel at 12:55 PM | exhale...

January 20th, 2006

H A V E W E F O R G O T T E N W H O W E A R E ?

“Just being able to be in your presence uplifts me from the deep well of depression and sorrow. You bring me hope and remind me that there is still some good left in this world. As much as I try I could never be able to properly express how happy you make me feel.”

 

 

“Whenever you enter the room you light up the darkness that is my soul. You raise to the heavens my lonesome heart with your radiance. You are the most beautiful I have ever seen.”

 

The only time these sort of things are seen to be corny is when it is viewed at by someone else. Between the two of you it may be sweet and heartwarming, but it'd be "icky" (if I may use that pre-teen term) to others. You will only feel it to be corny when you think of what others may think.

 

I have a friend who doesn't want us to meet the guy the she is dating because she says, "he is not guwapo." I could bet my last peso that she really doesn't think that. She is just worried on what we would think and to be safe she says he is not to taste.

 

It is like students gathering together before an exam asking each other if the other reviewed. Some say they didn't really review or didn't review at all. When their exam papers return and they come out with below average scores, they could just say, "Hindi naman ako nagreview." They just safely don't raise the bar too high just incase they aren't capable of jumping it. Now why should we always worry about what others think? There is a time and place for everything and yes others opinions are of importance, but not always. We fear too much on the viewpoint of others that we tend to shove aside what we, ourselves, think. I know that when picking out what to wear I ask someone's opinion (usually that would be my mother.) I usually before hand prefer already one of the two clothing items I have picked out but I still seek out an outsider's point of view. Then when the person I ask picks the other outfit I get flung into an even bigger rut with utter confusion. What to wear???!!??

 

We are so highly engrossed by collective forms of behavior that we become senile towards individuality. Sometimes we forget ourselves and live by other's standards. Have we forgotten who we are? (Yes this question of who we are surfs in the same waves with “what is the meaning of life?” but let’s just keep our minds simple for the time being.) We, as individuals, are like different cultures swimming in sea of the world. We are usually strongly xenocentric, looking down at oneself, for our own good. Why do we fear to stand out? Is it in our nature to be so? Man is a social being. He needs acceptance to feel whole. Man needs to accomplish the need of esteem (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs), esteem for self and from others, which is fine but usually is overpowered by others.

 

Standards are illusions created by the mind. They change according to variables set by society. The model on the cover of this month’s magazine is how we should look like, today’s fashion trend is how we should dress or all in all don’t stray from the thinking of the masses. Always go with the herd and be like sheep. Baaaah!

 

I have started earlier on simple examples of daring to be deviant. (“Forms of behavior that violate the norms”- Panopio, “General Sociology: Focus on the Philippines” 3rd edition.) Let’s have a look at the bigger picture. If we all (and I mean ALL) decide to go with society, where will we go? Do you think that man will make any progress? We are where we are today due to people who dared to be different. Men and women who are seen as radicals in their time are now remembered as great thinkers who helped us “progress.” In a classroom setting the top notchers are deviant. They worked their neurons to maximum levels and had to live with others ridicule and taunting. As an end result they got ahead and progressed, “Hey! Look who is laughing now?!” (In a sense I have just given you a simple form of Marxism.)

 

Decide how you want to get things done, how you choose to run your life and set your own standards. Live by those and not someone else’s. Make yourself some concrete principles and stick with them! Then you will find the light switch in the dark room and illuminate who you are.

Currently listening to: save tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry
Posted by fallen_angel at 12:23 PM | exhale...
« Newer | »